Does a fish piss?

Me a chota troubled soul plagued by mysteries of life and the subject of this blog has been making me ponder for a while.

Not sure of the answer as I could never get hold of a fish and make it piss.

For that matter even my neighbour could never make his dog piss but that doesn't mean his dog never pissed. Whenever he used to see my vehicle he used to piss like hell. He used to relieve his "janmon ka pressure" on my poor vehicle.

My bichara kinetic honda's front wheel had beeen a subject of several drenching competition among our neighbourhood dog community led by my neighbour's dog. Tried putting sticker's stating "Main bijli ka khambha nahin hoon" (I am not electric post) on the vehicle, but to no avail. That guy was either an illiterate or the most stubborn creature I have ever seen. He used to look at the sticker, raise his leg and go splash .... His data transfer rate would put even a 100 GB LAN to shame. One moment you will see him in front of your vehicle and next moment your vehicle is drenched.

Man that dog had some fascination for my kini. We used to wonder whether he is in love with it or what. Acting like protective parents we used to keep our kinetic locked and inside gates whenever that dog was around ... you can never trust a dog with a beautiful kinetic around ... you may never know when he might want to run away with it. Believe me I never enjoyed calling anyone "kutta" more than that dog. He was a pure "sala kutta doggie".

I know I have done it again ... Yes I have deviated from the topic yet again. Now before you guys and gals start calling me "sala", "kutta", "doggie" or any combination of these words for doing this let me ask your pardon. Please forgive me friends ...but I couldn't help it, the very thought of that dog and his pissing got me really pissed off .... And when you are pissed off it doesn't matter whether fishes piss.

But as mahan people have said ... forgiveness is the greatest virtue so I forgive this dog. "REST IN PISS" you sala kutta doggie. Next janam you be born as a kinetic and then we will see :-)

Yeh kuch nahin kaise kiya jaata hain?

Stumped!!? That was the very same reaction I had when this question was put up to me few minutes back and believe me it troubled me like hell .... Just imagine getting asked this question ... Now I can understand how a kinder garden kid would feel like when asked to explain the theory of relativity ... (If that kinder garden kid was me then I would have felt the same if I was even asked to recite "Twinkel Twinke little star ..." ... Those were some sweet old days. Mother dropping you to school, you running away from your class as soon as she leaves and half of the school chaisng you ... God! How much I miss those days)

I thought hard and some more hard till it became harder to think and some more till I could hardly think. Then I stopped thinking and figured out that thinking is not my cup of jalzeera.

Then i decided to get creepy and creep into souls of some other folks with an attempt to see how different people will feel when they are asked this question

An alogrithimically inclined person will be able to correalte this question to a deadlock situation.

Biologically inclined person will be able to correlate this to the "Chicken Egg" question

Artistically DISinclined person will be able to correlate this to an art movie. Can you imagine looking at celluloid on cow grazing in a field for full 15 minutes?. I tried once and failed abysmally.

Artistically iclined person will be able to correlate this nothingness to the brains of an artistically disinclined person.

Osama Bin Laden kill be able to correlate this to what he is doing these days.

George Bush will be able to correlate this to what he is doing to catch Osama Bin Laden

Tendulkar will be able to correlate this to what he is doing for past few years .... Yes all you tendulkar fans come on and pounce on me.

And I am able to correlate this to what I did on this post since past 21 days. Yes mea culpa ... started this post on "April the 15th" and did precisely "kuch nahin" on this one since then. Now I know ki yeh kuch nahin kaise kiya jaata hain :-)

Prabhu Archana : Weaponisation of Gods

Great people have said that every good thing in life must start with prabhu ki aaradhana. How can a lesser mortal like me ignore this wisdom.

So here I am making my first post in the blogosphere as a tribute to my prabhuji ... my god .... my almightly....... saviour of the mankind ... or rather we must say saviour of sisterkind (if there is a word like it ... watch any prabhu movie for further information)

I can hear voices ... "This guy is from India!!" ... "They have millions of god there!" .... " One extra god won't make a difference!" ... "Infinity plus one is equal to infinity!" ......

My dear friends and all the naysayers! Let me try to explain why my god is mightier than most of the other gods. For that we should first try to understand theory of "Weaponization of Gods" also known as "Weapons in Hand index".

Wondering what the hell it is? Well in my part of the world even gods are subjected to the relative appraisal cycle and the winner is crowned with "Mr God XXXX" title ... Disappointment for all the folks who are inflicted with "EYES LIGTHING UP WHEN I SEE TWO OR MORE X's IN SUCCESSION" syndrome.... Just replace that X with a numeral and move on with your life.

Arghhh! So I deviate from the topic again ... Apologies! apologies! Sorry! Excuse me please!

Coming back to "Mr God 2007" contest ... We Indians rate our gods on the basis of the relative state of weaponization that our gods have achieved. State of Weaponization is measured by :-
(1) How many weapons they are carrying in their hand?
(2) What is the destructve ability of those weapons?
(3) Whose weapons shine the brightest? "इसकी तलवार मेरी तलवार से चमकीली कैसे?"
(4) Whose weapon can replace a dishwasher most efficiently?
Ok ... ok ...agreed I made up the last one ... but believe me other ones are really true.

Inorder to establish relatively superiority of their god's some people cheat and provide their god's with 2*N hands (==2*N weapons) wehere N tends to infinity ... but since 2007 is the year of truth ... we will rule out all those gods with more than 2 hands. This rule leaves us with 17 out of 10 million 231 two-handed gods. I can bet my neighbour's dog's tail on the fact that none of these 17 gods can beat prabhuji's weapons in terms of shine and destructive ability.

Take a closer look at the picture and just see the shine on those guns ... didn't it dazzle your eyes ... Check out how mysteriously prabhu's hands holidng the guns appear from nowhere in the picture ... And as far as destructive ability of the guns is concerned .... just have a look at any of Prabhuji's great movies and you would know what I meant ... One bullet from that gun is sufficient to topple a fleet of moving cars ... hundreds of goons ... thousands of street dogs (Bangalore Municiapal Corporation is searching madly for these gun) ... millions of mosquitoes (One bullet is enough to put Good Night and All Out out of business) .

Now ... now don't you guys believe me .. Don't you think there can be no bigger god than my prabhuji ... So join me folks. Lets all hail prabhuji and let us gain moksha through prabhuji's blessings.